I'm Sorry, Dave. I'm Afraid I Can't Do That

If you haven't noticed already, a major source of my inspiration is paranoia. I simply just do not trust some things. So with this in mind, I decided to let it take over completely and see where that could go. This is a technology fueled, paranoid rant against the future. Plus, in the spirit of technology, I've also filled this article with videos as well, making it somewhat interactive.

Of course I do not live my life in fear, these are only just thoughts. This is intended to be somewhat humorous in a frightening kind of way. Nervous laughs. If things get too real, just watch this a few times:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V7ehnWSUTs

Enjoy.
-Anthony

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I'm Sorry, Dave. I'm Afraid I Can't Do That



Before we begin, watch this first:

http://www.vbs.tv/watch/motherboard/motherboard_networked_city

Now I am going to ask you a series of questions in response to that video:

1. Do you feel good about the future?
2. Did that video make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

If you answered "Holy fucking shit, no" to any of the above questions, you may continue reading this article.

That is a portrait of what is to come if we let those psychotic (yet stylish) nerds continue with what they are doing. One of those losers described the city as a "game engine" or more simply, a basic foundation in which games and experiments are conducted. This is where you live your life. They want to play games with it. They want to invisibly rule your every move. And they also want to give "every grain of sand on the face of the planet 100 different internet addresses" for who-knows-what. Like I said, these men are psychotic.

These men can trace where you are going and what you are doing, all while disguising it as some sort of "game." From what it looks like, you don't get points and you don't play against other people, thus you never really "win." You just get followed. Some power-thirsty Geek Squad reject watches your day-to-day movement and makes it look like some shitty Coldplay music video. This information is then sold to companies who will use that data for marketing. Your reward for getting a high score is coupons in the mail.

But why is this what opened up my eyes? It should have happened much sooner. Why was everyone ok with Google sending camera cars to our neighborhoods in order to take 360-degree pictures of our lives? Did we give them permission? Why were we not concerned when Google Earth came out? "Oh hey! I can find my house from space! That's neat!" If you can find your house from space with the same machine you use to talk to your parents, other world governments can find your house from space very simply. And do you know what some of their satellites have besides cameras? Nuclear missiles. It's not like governments sit around and play with GarageBand all day. They strategize nuclear strikes. There might not even be a reason for it. The world may be at peace. But they do it anyway. Just incase.

Let me share something with you. In 1986, our government made these fun things ironically named "Peacekeeper Missiles." The missile would shoot up into space, find its targets, and then rain down maybe ten separate bombs, each roughly twenty times stronger than Little Boy, the bomb we dropped on Hiroshima (this information comes from this pdf, which I found on the Air Force's website: http://www.af.mil/shared/media/document/AFD-070618-036.pdf). These missiles eat childhoods and shit nightmares. This is what it looks like when it targets your bedroom from space, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons:

Fun Stuff. Luckily for us, they decommissioned all of these missiles in like 2005. Then again, that technology was developed in 1986. To give you some reference to where the public's mentality of technology was, Back to the Future was only made a year before. Where do you think they are now?

When the time comes, there will be nowhere to hide. Like they said before, even grains of sand have the capability to transmit gargantuan amounts data. Bricks can tell the enemy where you are and possibly what you buy most frequently at Starbucks. Forget using the computer; almost all of them have tiny cameras and microphones attached to them. The same goes for your cell-phone. All this knowledge exists and can be lethal if collected and utilized.

So-called "smart people" aren't really doing humankind any good on this front, either. Every now and then, the internet reveals videos of these scientists pretty much blueprinting armageddon. Watch these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geqip_0Vjec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSQarX2bNtQ

All you have to do is crank up the intensity on that ray gun to where it can microwave flesh, strap it on to that little helicopter thing, give it an infrared camera, and tell it to melt anything that moves and is around 98 degrees Fahrenheit. Now make a couple million of them. We had a good run.

Wait! That's it! "Run"! We can run to the mountains and into the woods where the robots cannot find us! Oh wait:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh2nLWYnxkM

Well, fuck. The military made robots that can chase us through the woods. All it needs is a knife and some duct tape. It may just be me, but I think it could look a little bit more frightening. That thing actually looks like fun. If the scientists really wanted to keep us awake at night, they could have made it look scarier. Oh, hold up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1czBcnX1Ww

That's more like it. Now it looks like a headless spiderdog. Great. Forget about ever feeling safe again. Why don't they attach one of these to it too, to insure I never sleep again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD_NdnYrDzY

This world is continually evolving into the movie Terminator. Defense contractors are getting richer. Your phones are getting smarter. Your social networks are getting creepier. Robotic spiderdogs are getting faster. You do not have to accept this. You have the right to privacy. I think. Well, at least you have the right to bear arms, which will be extremely useful when we have the great idea to give our computers an army. All joking aside, you really do leave a digital snail-trail of information everywhere you go. Just stay aware of who is watching you and you will be fine. And maybe work on running a little bit faster. But most importantly, always remember:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V7ehnWSUTs